The name hunting has began & until then he is refereed to as baby mango. I was @ my ultrasound w/ my sister and mom when they were asking how big he should be, I told them I have an app on my phone that compares him to fruit or veggies. Last week he should of been the size of a baby mango... hence Aunt Jessica named him BABY MANGO! =)
This time around it is defiantly a different feeling picking out his name. We don't have the excitement of choosing his name like we have in the past we just kind of have this heavy feeling,I can't really explain it. It is not that he doesn't deserve a name he does in fact he deserves the BEST name ever, but just like everything else once we name him it feels THAT MUCH MORE REAL & THAT HARDER TO ACCEPT! It is hard to believe that he is really that sick. I feel great better than I did when I was pregnant w/ the boys. The fact is that w/ out God's supernatural healing he will not be coming home & we know that, but then once you put a name to him (other than baby mango) it is real, it is not just a nightmare that wont go away when you wake up. If we talk about a name than we are talking about the end, we want him to have such a wonderful name, followed by such a wonderful meaning because this might be one of the only decision's we make as his parents & it has got to be a great one! Yes I know God can perform a miracle and I am believing it with all I can you have no idea, but in order for me to stay sane I have to think about the reality as well. What if God's plan of healing is different than our plan? I have to be prepared for that & just because I am doesn't mean I still don't have faith in the one who can heal him right this second! Please Pray that God gives us the perfect name for this little mango, just like God thought we were his perfect parents.
Thank you again for all your prayers we need all the prayer & support to keep us moving forward & leaning on God. Please pray for our Faith to continue to grow it is a min by min battle we have to fight. Pray for strength & wisdom as we try and find the right words to tell the most excited big brothers that their little baby is very sick & that God may take him straight to heaven after he is born. We love you all.
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Stefani this was wonderful and I think you already know the perfect way to tell the boys. You just wrote it. I love you and will continue to believe for complete healing for my precious little great nephew and for the most perfect name. Love you all. Aunt Bob
ReplyDeleteStef, you just amaze me. I think you are showing an amazing amount of strength, faith and also looking at the situation and preparing yourself. I know that God has the perfect name for this precious one and in His timing, He will give you the name. I know that the Lord looks upon him with such love and trusts you both with him. I am praying for you!
ReplyDeleteStef, this is a beautiful post and reflects your beautiful and strong spirit. You hang in there. Enjoy each precious moment. Don't stress about the less important aspects of life right now. Take each day at YOUR pace and enjoy that life-making process. You are so right about God giving you this little boy for a very special reason. You are his perfect mommy. I agree with Barb and Jenny in all they said. You have already given this baby the greatest gift in the world - pure and perfect LOVE. Think of how many parents would focus on the whys or just shut off emotionally, yet here you are - strong, confident in the LORD and steady in your love for your beautiful little baby. You're amazing. I'm praying for you always. - Kristi
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