Real quick I just wanted to let everyone know that I got worked up over nothing last night. I went into the doctor's this morning only to find out 2 very upsetting things.
1. I had not lost any weight!
That totally ticked me off, but I guess when you consider I have drowned my sorrow's in everything chocolate for the last 3 weeks and have not been able to breastfeed I kinda should of expected it.. LOL Trust me when I say breastfeeding works ladies! I gained more weight with Elijah and Malachi and in 4 weeks after Malachi I was back in my regular shorts and/or pants. This time around my comfy shorts still don't fit me. So I was pretty bumbed that I hadn't even lost Zeke's birth weight which yes was only 2 lbs but hey you gotta start somewhere right?
2. His test results were not in yet!!
I stayed up all night slept in between nightmares all to be told this morning his cells are still growing in the lab and it could take another 3 weeks before we know his true disease! 3 weeks are you kidding me?? Then again why am I not surprised nothing and I mean nothing about this pregnancy has been easy. She checked my uterus and it is not shrinking like she was hoping, so I am still on restriction which means I could not go straight to the YMCA and run off all the fat and sadness I have gained in the last 3 weeks. hehe =) I have to lay around and take it easy, she thinks I am overdoing it, when I should be resting. She offered to give me anti-depressants which I passed on. I have been there and all they do is make you feel numb and prolong the pain that you will eventually feel anyways. She agreed and asked me how the boys were doing, how David was, she offered me some advice and then I got a lot of hugs and kind words from her and all my nurses as I was walking out.
I have to go back in 3 weeks for my exam and hopefully I will get Zeke's results in. There is always a chance that they will not grow properly and they will come back inconclusive, please join with us in praying that his cells and tissue samples grow and give us the proper diagnosis we so desperately need.
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I am on Zoloft, and it doesn't make me feel numb. I got on it right after we lost Jenna, and I think it saved my life. It allowed me to deal with my pain but also to go on with my day to day life. I think we all have to do what we've got to do when we are going through something like this.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are able to get answers about Zeke and a definite diagnosis. I wanted to comment on your last post but didn't get a chance to. Jenna was severely affected by the Trisomy 18. She had a huge cystic hygroma, very little brain matter, her skull didn't form, her kidneys were almost non-existant, and she had clubbed feet. For us, it was just a fluke, and last November, we delivered our rainbow baby who is very, very healthy. I hope this gives you a little bit of hope.