hmmm

I watched my boys last night play with a sweet baby girl about 9 months old. It made me really happy and sad at the same time, but the best thing is it made me realize and "consider" that having another baby or thinking about trying wouldn't be such a bad idea. I want to give my boys another sibling, I want to give my husband another baby, do i want to be pregnant again NO!!! Do I wish I could just go pick one up at the hospital, YEP!

I guess my heart is softening to the idea, I have been so concerned that I can't do a baby and school, and work and life. After a talk with my mom i realized that you know what we could do it, I would move her and my dad out here LOL but having another baby would not crush my dream of being a nurse, people do it all the time. So i don't really know what to say except I am just writing my feelings out and wondering out loud. A baby, am I ready for that? I don't know if I ever will be ready to put our hearts out on the line again, but I also do not want to always wonder the what ifs. So I am letting go of the control and I am giving it to God. When it happens I will be okay and hopefully i won't be a preggo basket case ! lol