So I am back! It has been awhile and I know how important it is for me to write, but I just have been so darn busy that I only seem to think about blogging when I am in my car or I see my dear friend Kristi's blog links on her FB page as I am scrolling before bedtime.
Most of you know I am almost 38 weeks pregnant w/ my 4th baby and we are anxiously sitting on pins and needles just waiting until baby decides to make the famous depute! We have not announced gender or our list of names, not to be spiteful but to honestly just be silly ;) We are now in the home stretch and I am am very nervous. We passed the 36 week mark of when Zeke's heart stopped and that for me was very monumental, but as each day goes by I notice myself poking at my belly to make sure there is movement reciprocated back to me & I feel myself holding my breath when my nurse puts the doppler on my belly to check for the sweet heartbeat. The last few visits, I have wished that she would say okay lets have this baby, but she doesn't she says "see ya next week!" lol the waiting is killing me.
I admit apart of me is waiting for what you would call the "ball" to drop but then at the same time I am praying my guts out that everything will be and so far has been picture perfect and I will bring a beautiful baby home to my family! I remember when I found out I was pregnant I prayed for a "boring, non eventful" pregnancy. After all the problems and scares we had w/ Zeke all the ER visits & weekly OB apt starting @ 20 weeks I just wanted to enjoy this pregnancy and feel normal. So far it has been wonderful and I am so thankful to God for giving me this precious gift. Now to just get this baby out of my belly & into my arms so that I can see for myself that baby is healthy and perfect!
I am praying for a smooth and complicated free delivery & I pray every second that nothing will go wrong, but what so many people don't understand is just because you have walked through a tragedy like we did it doesn't make you immune to another. This world is cruel and mean, but I have to believe and I do that God is with us just like he was in the delivery room w/ Zeke. We may have been in mourning during that season, but our God is amazing and he will turn our mourning into dancing! I can't wait until we have the biggest party ever! I have a feeling the hospital staff will be telling us to be quiet and calm down because we are having a party when this baby comes! I feel for the first time that we are coming into spring and I am SO thankful for all the love and support we have gotten thru out the last few years.