Saturday, March 12, 2011

unconditional love

Its been awhile, every time I go to write it just doesn't come out.

2010 was a heartbreaking year for me and my family we suffered alot of heartache as we buried and said goodbye to father in law and then our sweet little boy. When 2011 came I didn't dare say it couldn't get worse but as the same time I thought surely we would have a year full of blessings and smiles after our year of mourning.

Feb 23, 2011 my Grandma unexpectedly went to be with Jesus. It was a shock, it still is a shock. She had not been sick so to hear that she was in the hospital we just assumed it was dehydration and she would be home in a few days. Before we knew it went from bad to worse in a matter of hours.

It doesn't matter how many times you have had to hear those words .... "I have bad news" it doesn't make it any easier! I keep having flash backs to that last phone call I had with her just a week before she died, who would of ever thought that was it? We know life is precious and we say we cherish life and our loved ones, but do we really CHERISH them as if it might be the last phone call, hug, kiss, or even a casual goodbye? Did I tell her I loved her before we hung up? I don't remember it was crazy I was standing in gym waiting for the boys to play their basketball game. I do remember she didn't want to bother me and knew I was busy but I told her "no, I have time to talk I am just waiting for the game to start." we talked about seeing each other this summer and how I hoped we would be able to come out. She told me how much she loves getting updates on the boys and seeing their pictures. We talked about school and she told me she was so proud of me & how I am her favorite oldest grandchild named Steffy." Our conversation wasn't very long 15 min maybe but I remember thinking I need to call her next week, but did I tell her I loved her? I don't remember.

She was a wonderful woman. She loved her family and she always made everyone feel so important to her. I was her favorite oldest granddaughter and David was her favorite grandson named David and so on with everyone else. She was always there for support and love whether she agreed with you or not. She never gave her opinion unless you asked and she constantly told you she was so proud of you. We had a lot of great memories together, Garage Sale shopping was one of our favorite things to do on the weekends. I remember she drove down the middle lane between the 2 yellow lines 1 Saturday because we were in a hurry to catch a sale and that lane just wasn't being used. ;) I remember dressing up in her church clothes and walking down the sidewalk with a toy shopping cart and high heels thinking I was the coolest girl on the block. There are so many memories I have of Grandma but the one thing that stands out the most is her commitment to her family. She gave her whole life to us all and she loved us with such unconditional love. She was wonderful and to think that she is no longer here just hurts so much. Her legacy will live on in all of us and her commitment & unconditional love to her family is something that will never be forgotten.

So tell the ones you love that you love them, every time you talk to them because you never know when it will be your last conversation.

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