Thursday, March 18, 2010

12 weeks to go...

Today we celebrated my 29th birthday & we also celebrated 28 weeks still pregnant w/ Zeke. We are so happy we have made it this far considering the doctor's didn't expect him to make it past 22 weeks. We are so thankful and have learned to not take anything for granted. Today I celebrated my 1st birthday as a mother of 3 BOYS! We went out for dinner & I chowed down on everything that I could trying to gain weight & give Zeke some yummy food. I got beautiful hand made birthday cards & cupcakes. I think I am going to enjoy being the only girl and getting all the love & special attention as their princess ;)

We are moving forward in faith and trusting God by getting things ready for Zeke's arrival. We have picked out his bedding and nursery furniture & I can not wait to get it all bought and put together!! I got his bassinet last night & we have it ready to go in our room. I am soo excited, but at the same time i am sooo scared for the end of our 12 weeks. It is crazy how many emotions you can feel at the same time. We want to meet him so badly, but at the same time we know he is alot safer inside me. He has a better chance of staying w/ us if I just could just stay pregnant forever, but at the same time all you want to do is hold him & see him face to face. I can walk by all of his stuff and smile in anticipation for his arrival & then the next time I walk by it & I just start crying w/ the realization that he may never come home w/ us. You don't want to be in denial of the truth of our situation, but you also dont want to loose your faith in the miracle that we know God can perform. So it changes & min by min we go back in forth between the truth & our faith. I just pray, that these next 12 weeks will be savored & enjoyed & not taken for granted. I pray these next 12 weeks will be a huge growth spurt & organ healing for Zeke. God has a purpose for this little boy, I have to believe that, but I also want to believe it is for a miraculous healing here on earth and not in heaven.

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