Well I figured I should write a quick update on today's visit, I'm super tired & am doing this via my phone in bed so bare w/ me if words & grammer are worse than usual... LOL
I struggled all day w/ this appt & just felt physically sick up until I actually talked to my OB. In a nut shell she has agreed to keep seeing me weekly so long as I promise not to skip anymore appts & my blood preasure doesn't get any worse. She sayed that we would take it 1 day @ a time & if anything changes we will discuss options. She sayed the fluid in his lungs & the fact that he is now almost 6 weeks behind is growth is the most concerning. They can drain the fluid when he is born, but most likely it will just come back & he can not develop lungs when his chest is full of fluid. The next decision is to have the amnio done just so we know the best options for delivery, like should I plan on delivering @ the childrens hospital, downtown Houston or the 1 in town. They all have different specalties according to what the true problem is w/ him. It would help us to know if I should plan on a scheduled c-section or if I should do a regular labor. It all has its different route they would take & differet decisions to be made depending on the actual test results. So now I have to make the decision.... Should I take the test or not? That such a hard decision to make I just don't know.
She is pretty sure he does have trisomy 18 which they know are leathal. The one thing she did tell me is that he could live even a few weeks, that we may be able to bring him home! She said it would be a miracle, but it could happen. 6 weeks ago I would of sayed no way we can not handle that! God if he isn't gonna make it. just let him die in the hospital, there is no way I could bring him home for just a few weeks! Today that is all I have thought about! He has defied all odds when it come's to this pregnancy, what if he shocked them & survived at home for a few weeks??? Of course I want his miracle to be complete healing, but right now I will take any form of healing just so I can be apart of his life no matter how short it might be!!!
Well I want to write alot more but my eyelids are heavy..... Allthis emotion has taken a toll & I could of gone to bed @ 630 tonight! ;)