Tuesday, February 1, 2011

3 times a week!!

I am trying to get back into the blogging thing again. I stopped because honestly I didn't want you to have to hear me being so down and sad all the time. So I am committing in my crazy life to blog @ least 3 times a week. It doesn't have to be long but just something to get me writing again and hopefully this will help me get thru this stage in my life, because it sure helped me get through the pregnancy.

I was at my study group for microbiology and we have all been working together for about 3 weeks now and everyone is nice and gets along great but we started chit chatting and getting to know one another a little better. One girl started asking us what made us choose nursing. The conversation turned to me and I froze, I got tears in my eyes and finally told them the "short" story. I think it is interesting when I talk about him or our story I seem to talk faster and & I get nervous. I don't know why I have this THING over me thinking that I have to hide him or be embarressed that I am still so upset over him because he technically didn't live on this earth. Why does that bother me so much? Part of it I think is the constant abuse I got at all the appointments on how they constantly told me I needed to end the pregnancy and how he wasn't gonna live, but still he was a human life and he died. Why do I feel like I have to hide him?

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